Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Switching.
To anybody visiting this site without using the links I post (something I find unlikely, to be perfectly honest, but I thought I should cover all my bases), the location of this blog has changed to wordpress. It still retains all of its top-notch content, so no worries about that. You can find it, in all its glory, here.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
Eurothon: 30 Years War
Alright, I know that I missed the last two days. And that's very sad. Prom craziness and life happened. But now it's time to take a good look at what was one of the culminating events of the Reformation, the 30 Year's War.
The origins of the war can be mostly found in the Peace of Augsburg a little more than half a century earlier, which allowed for Catholics and Lutherans in the German principalities to coexist peacefully. At least, that was the idea. In practice, it merely put off conflict for awhile; princes practicing different religions were still hostile to each other, just not openly, and the spread of Calvanism went unacknowledged by the Holy Roman Empire and was considered an illegitimate religion at the beginning of the war. Essentially, this set the stage for a whole lot of people to kill each other over some BS religious crusade. This is one of the events that makes it a bit astonishing to thing that the HRE actually remains in existence for several hundred years after this.
Anyways, in addition to all the crazy religious stuff going on, all the other European powers saw the opportunity in the nation that was basically at war with itself. Protestant nations, such as the Netherlands, Sweden, and England all jumped in on the side of the Protestant German states, along with France which was Catholic but had dynastic ambitions in the country, once civil war became a sure thing.. Sweden was, surprisingly, the biggest player on the Protestant side and had it's one moment of historic bad-assery during this period, conquering a significant portion of the German states at it's peak during the 30 Year's War under the leadership of Gustavus Adolfus II who gets his own day even 500 years after his death. Because he is a total bad ass. More on him later.
The Catholic side was backed by the Hapsburg empire, which at this time included Spain, the majority of the HRE's possessions (Austria and Bavaria were two of the larger players here) and, towards the end of the war, Denmark which became a Spanish territory. Many of these joined the Catholic League in response to the League of Evangelical Union formed by some Protestants, which drew the proverbial line in the sand for the war.
The final straw that started the whole debacle was Ferdinand I's (who is also Ferdinand II because royalty MAKES NO SENSE) ascension to the throne of the HRE. He was a staunch supporter of religious unity in his territory, having been educated by the Jesuits (who were a result of the Counter-Reformation movement, so were fairly anti-Protestant). His clear ill-will against the Protestants caused many of the nobles to reject him, which basically created the exact same shit storm you might imagine when half of a nation rejects its ruler. We go now to the first stage of the war.
Stage 1: Bohemian Revolution
When Ferdinand I/II took over, he sent several councilors to Bohemia in a diplomatic effort to avoid conflict with the Protestant. In one of the most refreshingly straight forward political maneuvers in history, the leaders of Protestant Bohemia threw them out a third story window. Though the fall was a good 50 feet or so, they survived remarkably unharmed.
The conflict spread throughout the western German region, eventually leading to Ferdinand recruiting the aid of some family over in Spain, which at this time was actually a politically significant force. Protestant countries who had been previously too afraid to attack the Hapsburgs because of their immense and entirely baffling family tree were emboldened by the revolt and joined in the fun.
Fredrick V, a protestant, was pleaded to for entrance into the Protestant League by the Bohemians, who desperately needed allies to fight the Catholics. They offered Fredrick the throne in exchange for the admission, but had also apparently made this offer to a fairly large number of other leaders to gain support as well, making them the king offer sluts of the 1600's. This cost them a good amount of support from the countries they had hoped to get support from. Not too surprisingly, the rebellion didn't proceed too well for the protestants then. The Protestant armies were crushed, leaving only a few stray generals wandering about. This was enough to cause trouble, however.
Phase II: Denmark takes off a bit more than it can chew
Denmark saw the Catholic League victory as a threat to it's sovereignty as a Protestant nation. Christian IV, Denmark's king at this time, raised a fairly sizable army to fight the Catholic League, receiving support from some Protestant areas of the HRE and some money from France and Britain, who both had interests in keeping the Habsburgs down. He also received some aid from Sweden in the form of war reparation, which was nice.
But there was still a reason as to why the Habsburgs were the most powerful family in Europe at the time. Despite Christian IV's best efforts, his primary general, Mansfeld, died of tuberculosis and he lost several important battles. He was pushed back to his borders, where he was saved by the fact that Wallenstein decided that an invasion would cost more than any possible benefit. The peace treaty here made Denmark remove itself from the conflict, giving Catholics greater control over the German states.
Phase III: It's Gustavus Adolfus time, biznatches!
So, after two Protestant groups have failed to win the acknowledgement of their religion, the natural thing to do would be to try again. But this time, it was a total badass leading the Protestant armies instead of those pansies who died of things like tuberculosis and beheading.
The precise reason as to why Adolfus entered into the war is unknown, but it was clear that he wanted to limit the power of the HRE, as well as prevent the subjugation of Protestant nations. He received funds from France in their continuing effort to fight a proxy war against the HRE and Spain. In a relatively short amount of time, Adolfus pushed the Catholic League back until he controlled almost half of the HRE's territory. Needless to say, he was quite pleased with himself.
France, now confident enough that things were going smoothly, formally allied with Sweden in 1631 and stopped being such pansies. Swedish armies continued pushing through German lands, killing a prominent Catholic general in the process and gaining a definitive upper hand. Unfortunately, Wallenstein pulled a clever maneuver and moved in behind the Swedish force and threatened the supply lines, forcing Adolfus into a battle that was severely disadvantageous for the Protestant armies. Adolfus went boldly into the trap and was killed in action, being way more manly than those other people who had just pansied out. Despite Adolfus' death, the Swedish army was momentarily victorious. After this, the Swedish armies became less successful and Protestant Germany sued for peace with the Peace of Prague, ending the civil war in Germany and limiting the power of Protestant princes.
Part IV: More or less the end
The end part of the war includes a lot of back and forth, eventually resulting in Sweden having gained a fair amount of ground in the HRE once again, leaving only Austria firmly under Habsburg rule. France invaded Spain, meeting with initial disaster and then ending up with more or less the same borders. Eventually, a series of peace agreements were reached known collectively as the Peace of Westphalia was reached by the nations of Europe, which was the first example of a big peace talk and was very exciting.
The terms of the treaty were as follows: The imperial domain was reset to pre-war terms, meaning each individual territory had its own religious determination and semi-autonomy. In addition, Calvinism was acknowledged as a legitimate religion.
In response, the pope had a hissy fit in which he declared the agreement "null, void, invalid, iniquitous, unjust, damnable, reprobate, inane, empty of meaning and effect for all time", which was actually just part of his effort to expand his vocabulary for verbally smiting the heathens.
Some various territorial disputes were settled, which were relatively minor in the grand scheme of things, and:
Religious wars were prohibited, saying that the religious sovereignty of every nation was guaranteed. It would be, in theory, a good idea.
Well, that's basically all there is to that. It was very exciting. Tomorrow will most likely be the 7 Years War, which was largely covered in the short history of imperialism but will be rehashed in a more educational fashion.
I was going to post a few panels with this, but there were extenuating circumstances. Maybe tomorrow.
The origins of the war can be mostly found in the Peace of Augsburg a little more than half a century earlier, which allowed for Catholics and Lutherans in the German principalities to coexist peacefully. At least, that was the idea. In practice, it merely put off conflict for awhile; princes practicing different religions were still hostile to each other, just not openly, and the spread of Calvanism went unacknowledged by the Holy Roman Empire and was considered an illegitimate religion at the beginning of the war. Essentially, this set the stage for a whole lot of people to kill each other over some BS religious crusade. This is one of the events that makes it a bit astonishing to thing that the HRE actually remains in existence for several hundred years after this.
Anyways, in addition to all the crazy religious stuff going on, all the other European powers saw the opportunity in the nation that was basically at war with itself. Protestant nations, such as the Netherlands, Sweden, and England all jumped in on the side of the Protestant German states, along with France which was Catholic but had dynastic ambitions in the country, once civil war became a sure thing.. Sweden was, surprisingly, the biggest player on the Protestant side and had it's one moment of historic bad-assery during this period, conquering a significant portion of the German states at it's peak during the 30 Year's War under the leadership of Gustavus Adolfus II who gets his own day even 500 years after his death. Because he is a total bad ass. More on him later.
The Catholic side was backed by the Hapsburg empire, which at this time included Spain, the majority of the HRE's possessions (Austria and Bavaria were two of the larger players here) and, towards the end of the war, Denmark which became a Spanish territory. Many of these joined the Catholic League in response to the League of Evangelical Union formed by some Protestants, which drew the proverbial line in the sand for the war.
The final straw that started the whole debacle was Ferdinand I's (who is also Ferdinand II because royalty MAKES NO SENSE) ascension to the throne of the HRE. He was a staunch supporter of religious unity in his territory, having been educated by the Jesuits (who were a result of the Counter-Reformation movement, so were fairly anti-Protestant). His clear ill-will against the Protestants caused many of the nobles to reject him, which basically created the exact same shit storm you might imagine when half of a nation rejects its ruler. We go now to the first stage of the war.
Stage 1: Bohemian Revolution
When Ferdinand I/II took over, he sent several councilors to Bohemia in a diplomatic effort to avoid conflict with the Protestant. In one of the most refreshingly straight forward political maneuvers in history, the leaders of Protestant Bohemia threw them out a third story window. Though the fall was a good 50 feet or so, they survived remarkably unharmed.
The conflict spread throughout the western German region, eventually leading to Ferdinand recruiting the aid of some family over in Spain, which at this time was actually a politically significant force. Protestant countries who had been previously too afraid to attack the Hapsburgs because of their immense and entirely baffling family tree were emboldened by the revolt and joined in the fun.
Fredrick V, a protestant, was pleaded to for entrance into the Protestant League by the Bohemians, who desperately needed allies to fight the Catholics. They offered Fredrick the throne in exchange for the admission, but had also apparently made this offer to a fairly large number of other leaders to gain support as well, making them the king offer sluts of the 1600's. This cost them a good amount of support from the countries they had hoped to get support from. Not too surprisingly, the rebellion didn't proceed too well for the protestants then. The Protestant armies were crushed, leaving only a few stray generals wandering about. This was enough to cause trouble, however.
Phase II: Denmark takes off a bit more than it can chew
Denmark saw the Catholic League victory as a threat to it's sovereignty as a Protestant nation. Christian IV, Denmark's king at this time, raised a fairly sizable army to fight the Catholic League, receiving support from some Protestant areas of the HRE and some money from France and Britain, who both had interests in keeping the Habsburgs down. He also received some aid from Sweden in the form of war reparation, which was nice.
But there was still a reason as to why the Habsburgs were the most powerful family in Europe at the time. Despite Christian IV's best efforts, his primary general, Mansfeld, died of tuberculosis and he lost several important battles. He was pushed back to his borders, where he was saved by the fact that Wallenstein decided that an invasion would cost more than any possible benefit. The peace treaty here made Denmark remove itself from the conflict, giving Catholics greater control over the German states.
Phase III: It's Gustavus Adolfus time, biznatches!
So, after two Protestant groups have failed to win the acknowledgement of their religion, the natural thing to do would be to try again. But this time, it was a total badass leading the Protestant armies instead of those pansies who died of things like tuberculosis and beheading.
The precise reason as to why Adolfus entered into the war is unknown, but it was clear that he wanted to limit the power of the HRE, as well as prevent the subjugation of Protestant nations. He received funds from France in their continuing effort to fight a proxy war against the HRE and Spain. In a relatively short amount of time, Adolfus pushed the Catholic League back until he controlled almost half of the HRE's territory. Needless to say, he was quite pleased with himself.
France, now confident enough that things were going smoothly, formally allied with Sweden in 1631 and stopped being such pansies. Swedish armies continued pushing through German lands, killing a prominent Catholic general in the process and gaining a definitive upper hand. Unfortunately, Wallenstein pulled a clever maneuver and moved in behind the Swedish force and threatened the supply lines, forcing Adolfus into a battle that was severely disadvantageous for the Protestant armies. Adolfus went boldly into the trap and was killed in action, being way more manly than those other people who had just pansied out. Despite Adolfus' death, the Swedish army was momentarily victorious. After this, the Swedish armies became less successful and Protestant Germany sued for peace with the Peace of Prague, ending the civil war in Germany and limiting the power of Protestant princes.
Part IV: More or less the end
The end part of the war includes a lot of back and forth, eventually resulting in Sweden having gained a fair amount of ground in the HRE once again, leaving only Austria firmly under Habsburg rule. France invaded Spain, meeting with initial disaster and then ending up with more or less the same borders. Eventually, a series of peace agreements were reached known collectively as the Peace of Westphalia was reached by the nations of Europe, which was the first example of a big peace talk and was very exciting.
The terms of the treaty were as follows: The imperial domain was reset to pre-war terms, meaning each individual territory had its own religious determination and semi-autonomy. In addition, Calvinism was acknowledged as a legitimate religion.
In response, the pope had a hissy fit in which he declared the agreement "null, void, invalid, iniquitous, unjust, damnable, reprobate, inane, empty of meaning and effect for all time", which was actually just part of his effort to expand his vocabulary for verbally smiting the heathens.
Some various territorial disputes were settled, which were relatively minor in the grand scheme of things, and:
Religious wars were prohibited, saying that the religious sovereignty of every nation was guaranteed. It would be, in theory, a good idea.
Well, that's basically all there is to that. It was very exciting. Tomorrow will most likely be the 7 Years War, which was largely covered in the short history of imperialism but will be rehashed in a more educational fashion.
I was going to post a few panels with this, but there were extenuating circumstances. Maybe tomorrow.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Eurothon: Europe's decent into craziness through cultural movements.
Alright, I'm no art historian. But this should be able to provide a broad overview of the major cultural movements which got us to where we are today. Along with in-depth looks at the movements I find amusing (Like Dada).
200 CE - 1430 CE Medieval and Christian art
This time was mostly defined by the flat, religious imagery of the medieval period. Lots of stuff to do with the plague, since it was killing so many people during this time. Other pieces of art were mostly of biblical scenes and figures. Fairly unrealistic, majestic, and God-oriented in terms of style to distract the peasants from their fairly crappy lives.
This style eventually led to the Gothic style, famous for it's architecture that involved pointed arches and flying buttresses. Pieces of art like The Danse Macabre are iconic of Gothic art.
1300 CE - 1600 CE Renaissance
The Renaissance is sort of a massive movement, so I'll do my best to sum up the important stuff here. Most people agree that it started in Florence, mostly as a result of the Medici family and others who took up the practice of becoming patrons of the arts (making the Medici family a group of patrons, Mrs. Brown. I totally won that question). The movement came out of humanist ideas and the study of antiquity, such as the philosophers Aristotle, Plato, and other old dead white guys, as well as the new ways of viewing life and death. Artists like Leonardo da Vinci, Michelangelo, and other teenage mutant ninja turtles came to embod the spirit of the renaissance by engaging in a variety of different art styles and writing. New art techniques focused on a realistic portrayal of the human form as well as things like shading.
While many of the art in this period was religious in nature, there was a much greater occurrence of secular art during this time than during the earlier art periods. The Italian renaissance especially showed this trend, with artists like da Vinci making art purely to celebrate the human form with works like the Vitruvian Man.
The Northern renaissance which took place in the majority of the rest of Europe was still very much entrenched in religious imagery, however, and was slightly less dramatic than the Italian renaissance.
A refresher on humanism: Humanism is a learning style that branches off from the scholastic learning style of the medieval period. It focuses on the ancients and their writings and scientific ideas, analyzing them with a combination of discussion, philosophy, and empirical data to produce such gems of scientific achievement as bleeding people to balance the humors and such like things. Ok, it wasn't a perfect system. But it did lead to a greater focus on human perfection and having a good life as well as an afterlife, which lead to some good things.
1520 CE - 1600 Mannerism
Mostly a continuation on the trends of the Renaissance, mannerism was a highly intellectual art style which focused on artificial rather than natural themes and stylized poses. Perspective was messed with, and the shading was more dramatic than the previous eras. Tintorreto's Last Supper was an example of this style.
1600 CE - 1780 CE Baroque to Rococo
Both the Baroque and Rococo periods were focused on being as pompous, large, and rich looking as possible. It was pushed by the Catholic church as part of the Counter-Reformation, since it went against the more austere protestants. While the pompous Baroque style achieved large-scale popularity with the aristocracy of Europe, the brighter and apparently "more French" Rococo was mostly shunned in England.
1750 CE - 1830 CE Neoclassicism
200 CE - 1430 CE Medieval and Christian art
This time was mostly defined by the flat, religious imagery of the medieval period. Lots of stuff to do with the plague, since it was killing so many people during this time. Other pieces of art were mostly of biblical scenes and figures. Fairly unrealistic, majestic, and God-oriented in terms of style to distract the peasants from their fairly crappy lives.
This style eventually led to the Gothic style, famous for it's architecture that involved pointed arches and flying buttresses. Pieces of art like The Danse Macabre are iconic of Gothic art.
1300 CE - 1600 CE Renaissance
The Renaissance is sort of a massive movement, so I'll do my best to sum up the important stuff here. Most people agree that it started in Florence, mostly as a result of the Medici family and others who took up the practice of becoming patrons of the arts (making the Medici family a group of patrons, Mrs. Brown. I totally won that question). The movement came out of humanist ideas and the study of antiquity, such as the philosophers Aristotle, Plato, and other old dead white guys, as well as the new ways of viewing life and death. Artists like Leonardo da Vinci, Michelangelo, and other teenage mutant ninja turtles came to embod the spirit of the renaissance by engaging in a variety of different art styles and writing. New art techniques focused on a realistic portrayal of the human form as well as things like shading.
While many of the art in this period was religious in nature, there was a much greater occurrence of secular art during this time than during the earlier art periods. The Italian renaissance especially showed this trend, with artists like da Vinci making art purely to celebrate the human form with works like the Vitruvian Man.
The Northern renaissance which took place in the majority of the rest of Europe was still very much entrenched in religious imagery, however, and was slightly less dramatic than the Italian renaissance.
A refresher on humanism: Humanism is a learning style that branches off from the scholastic learning style of the medieval period. It focuses on the ancients and their writings and scientific ideas, analyzing them with a combination of discussion, philosophy, and empirical data to produce such gems of scientific achievement as bleeding people to balance the humors and such like things. Ok, it wasn't a perfect system. But it did lead to a greater focus on human perfection and having a good life as well as an afterlife, which lead to some good things.
1520 CE - 1600 Mannerism
Mostly a continuation on the trends of the Renaissance, mannerism was a highly intellectual art style which focused on artificial rather than natural themes and stylized poses. Perspective was messed with, and the shading was more dramatic than the previous eras. Tintorreto's Last Supper was an example of this style.
1600 CE - 1780 CE Baroque to Rococo
Both the Baroque and Rococo periods were focused on being as pompous, large, and rich looking as possible. It was pushed by the Catholic church as part of the Counter-Reformation, since it went against the more austere protestants. While the pompous Baroque style achieved large-scale popularity with the aristocracy of Europe, the brighter and apparently "more French" Rococo was mostly shunned in England.
1750 CE - 1830 CE Neoclassicism
Basically a bunch of nostalgia which wanted people to get involved with the more "pure" and "noble" art forms of antiquity. Sort of similar to renaissance art in style and running counter to the Baroque and Rococo movements which it thought of as silly.
1790 CE - 1880 CE Romanticism
More along the lines of Rococo art, Romantic art was sort of an escapist movement that went against the increasingly scientific thought of the 19th century. It celebrated the stylized and aesthetic pieces rather than the more empirical realist movement which sought to accurately portray human experiences and form.
1863 CE -1890 CE Impressionism
Like Romanticism, it didn't seek to create an entirely realistic representation of people and nature. It focused mainly on lighting and the movement of things. The main difference with impressionists was that they painted outside rather than in a studio in order to capture the lighting of a moment. There was no single event that really inspired the impressionist movement, but it did provide a counter to photography since it was far more stylized and pretty looking.
1890 CE - 1910 CE-ish Lots of stuff
The pre-war time period was filled with a huge number of different art movements as the Belle Epoch came to a close. Cubism, futurism, and Art Nouveau were fairly large movements that defined the culture of pre-war Europe, showing a trend towards the "batshit crazy" art that was well on its way. Changes in society during this time had been mildly dramatic, involving demographic shifts and new ideas as a result of the industrial revolution. The reconciliation with the many ideas in the so called "market place of ideas" was what mostly drove these changes, involving everything from Marx to Spencer who attempted to make complete systems for explaining the world.
Post WWI
This is pretty much the last period we covered in terms of art, so I'm going to assume we don't need to look at much else past this. Also, I'm really done with looking at all these different wikipedia and note pages.
THE MOMENT YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!
Dadaism is, of course, the idea that if you take a small badger and combine it with a three-quarter limeade beverage, you achieve what is known as the "Urnial cake singularity", which is as dangerous as it sounds. Contrary to popular belief, pulling this badger does not result in an unpleasant oder, but rather an extravagant tortoise.
That was an exercise in teaching by example. Dadaism was totally crazy and based on the idea that the world as we know it is absurd. It's a movement we can all get behind, I think. Movements like Dadaism were a result of the post-war changes in society and general craziness following the first world war. It was a precursor to surrealism, which was also based off of general weirdness but was actually intended to have a meaning behind it rather than the intentionally meaningless Dada art.
The important thing to remember about post war art was that it was based off of the strangeness of post-war Europe and the rapidly changing ideas which populated society.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Euro Thursday: A short history of Imperialism (Part 2)
Alright, I've let the suspense of what happens to screw everything up with Europe's little imperialist scheme build for two weeks now. I think you're all ready to find out (or have taken World History, in which case you can at least pretend to be surprised and shocked by the shit that is about to hit the fan.)
When we last left our intrepid heroes, everything was pretty alright for everyone except France, who we've already noted to have a desperate need to get their shit together. All their American and Indian possessions went to England or Spain at the conclusion of the French and Indian war, leaving them with very little to work with.
Not too long after all this, roundabouts 1775, there was a little thing called the American Revolution in which England realized it's mistake in giving their colonies nice things like limited self governance. This taught them to be much bigger douche bags to the rest of their colonies, like India. America gained it's independence against what was supposed to be the most powerful Empire in the world, giving a bunch of other people ideas.
America's ideas of freedom and liberty and whatnot was greatly appealing to the slaves of what would come to be Haiti and spread there quickly, with the small change of acknowledging blacks as full class citizens, or at least some of them. Toussaint Louverture, a man with a name I will now type as "Touss" because like hell I'm going to remember how to spell it and I don't feel like looking up all the time, led a successful revolution in Haiti which freed it from French rule. The rebellion which Touss led made him a famous and fairly wealthy man, so he decided to buy a plantation with several slaves to work it. Because every revolution needs its fair share of irony. So France loses another colony, which had been one of it's most profitable, to a bunch of people lauded as being racially inferior. When Napoleon took control of France after all that crazy stuff over there went down, Touss made alliances with France that ended in him being carted off by Napoleon's soldiers to die in a dungeon somewhere. One of his compatriots defeated the French again, thereby finally earning Haiti the right to be as ironic as it damn well pleased.
Also around this time was the Lagutao Revolt in the Philippines, the latest in a series of revolts which had been an almost semi-annual tradition in the region for the last hundred years or so. Most likely to make Spain feel good about itself, since it hadn't done anything of major significance for a good amount of time now.
Even this, however, was not enough to keep them feeling like a real imperial power when Mexico fought a war independence and won it. Though it took a good ten years, it was still fairly embarrassing for Spain. At this point, they basically said to the rest of the world to wake them up when it was time for a violent fascist uprising.
Continuing on, Greece wins its independence from the Ottoman Empire with the help of some bored European nations, Afghanistan continues its history of making invading/occupying it really difficult, and Britain takes it out by stomping out the last bits of pretending to just be business partners with India by installing viceroys and whatnot.
And so ends the second part of this abridged history. In the third and final installment of the series, modern imperialism causes a bunch of craziness.
When we last left our intrepid heroes, everything was pretty alright for everyone except France, who we've already noted to have a desperate need to get their shit together. All their American and Indian possessions went to England or Spain at the conclusion of the French and Indian war, leaving them with very little to work with.
Not too long after all this, roundabouts 1775, there was a little thing called the American Revolution in which England realized it's mistake in giving their colonies nice things like limited self governance. This taught them to be much bigger douche bags to the rest of their colonies, like India. America gained it's independence against what was supposed to be the most powerful Empire in the world, giving a bunch of other people ideas.
America's ideas of freedom and liberty and whatnot was greatly appealing to the slaves of what would come to be Haiti and spread there quickly, with the small change of acknowledging blacks as full class citizens, or at least some of them. Toussaint Louverture, a man with a name I will now type as "Touss" because like hell I'm going to remember how to spell it and I don't feel like looking up all the time, led a successful revolution in Haiti which freed it from French rule. The rebellion which Touss led made him a famous and fairly wealthy man, so he decided to buy a plantation with several slaves to work it. Because every revolution needs its fair share of irony. So France loses another colony, which had been one of it's most profitable, to a bunch of people lauded as being racially inferior. When Napoleon took control of France after all that crazy stuff over there went down, Touss made alliances with France that ended in him being carted off by Napoleon's soldiers to die in a dungeon somewhere. One of his compatriots defeated the French again, thereby finally earning Haiti the right to be as ironic as it damn well pleased.
Also around this time was the Lagutao Revolt in the Philippines, the latest in a series of revolts which had been an almost semi-annual tradition in the region for the last hundred years or so. Most likely to make Spain feel good about itself, since it hadn't done anything of major significance for a good amount of time now.
Even this, however, was not enough to keep them feeling like a real imperial power when Mexico fought a war independence and won it. Though it took a good ten years, it was still fairly embarrassing for Spain. At this point, they basically said to the rest of the world to wake them up when it was time for a violent fascist uprising.
Continuing on, Greece wins its independence from the Ottoman Empire with the help of some bored European nations, Afghanistan continues its history of making invading/occupying it really difficult, and Britain takes it out by stomping out the last bits of pretending to just be business partners with India by installing viceroys and whatnot.
And so ends the second part of this abridged history. In the third and final installment of the series, modern imperialism causes a bunch of craziness.
Blood and Irony: WWI was a bit crazy.
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| Sorry about the hard to read text. The upload size was much smaller than what I had expected. View full-size if you can't read it. |
School? Oh yeah. That.
As I sit here reading every entertaining Cracked list I can find with my as of yet unfinished homework sitting a few feet away from me, I come to the realization that the last few weeks of this school year is going to be a battle of attrition that I may very well lose. Soon, AP tests will be over. Which will be a plus. But really, it will likely just remove the little pressure which keeps me mentally engaged. At least there will still be Euro and Lit, which I usually enjoy and can probably focus on despite the lack of tests. But everything else will probably receive very little attention. For instance, Spanish. You're a wonderful language in your own way, I suppose, but I'm really done with all the busy work. I know it's pretty much the only way schools teach languages... but that doesn't make it any less crazily irritating.
Somehow I've actually managed to stay afloat during the last few months and really haven't seen significant grade drops. It is quite baffling to me, but I'll take it. I've kept up enough just enough to keep things going, and it's very sad. Except for Euro, because I'm actually interested in those things. But even Euro is hard to just sit down and do. It's pretty frustrating, actually. But only a little ways to go, and then I can hopefully regain all the motivation I used to have. I think I've been in high school a little too long now; it's time for a change.
In other news, prom is coming up. So that's.... exciting. I have work in the afternoon, so I may not make it to pictures. I wouldn't really care, except for other people probably want me there. Not that anyone will look at these pictures 5 years down the line and really care that I was missing. Possible, I suppose, but improbable. And plus, there will be other pictures that night that don't involve standing around for 10 minutes in every possible formation while a million parents take pictures. This is what the internet is for, people. Have one person take pictures. Everyone else can get them, I promise.
You can tell I'm not hugely excited. That's my general feeling towards a lot of things recently, that of total ambivalence. Which I guess might be considered a bad thing. But at least I'm not panicking, right?
End of rant. Euro Thursday post may or may not happen, depending on a number of factors.
Somehow I've actually managed to stay afloat during the last few months and really haven't seen significant grade drops. It is quite baffling to me, but I'll take it. I've kept up enough just enough to keep things going, and it's very sad. Except for Euro, because I'm actually interested in those things. But even Euro is hard to just sit down and do. It's pretty frustrating, actually. But only a little ways to go, and then I can hopefully regain all the motivation I used to have. I think I've been in high school a little too long now; it's time for a change.
In other news, prom is coming up. So that's.... exciting. I have work in the afternoon, so I may not make it to pictures. I wouldn't really care, except for other people probably want me there. Not that anyone will look at these pictures 5 years down the line and really care that I was missing. Possible, I suppose, but improbable. And plus, there will be other pictures that night that don't involve standing around for 10 minutes in every possible formation while a million parents take pictures. This is what the internet is for, people. Have one person take pictures. Everyone else can get them, I promise.
You can tell I'm not hugely excited. That's my general feeling towards a lot of things recently, that of total ambivalence. Which I guess might be considered a bad thing. But at least I'm not panicking, right?
End of rant. Euro Thursday post may or may not happen, depending on a number of factors.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Euro Thursday: It has come to my attention....
Alright, so most people are familiar with how France was invaded during World War II. Germany invaded through Belgium, steamrolling over the small nation in order to have a convenient way around the Maginot line which defended the France-Germany border. Yes.
A lot of people also know that this happened before, back in WW I. The ironic part was that they actually did much better the first time, when it was a legitimate surprise. I know I had an entire post about France needing to get it together, but seriously now. Was it really that surprising that they would get invaded through Belgium again? They did it the first time, and that was before they had what everyone knew to be a straight up douchebag in control of their armies. It's not like the invasion itself was a surprise; Hitler had invaded Poland the previous year and actually waited out the winter to move all his troops into position to invade France, which is apparently far too busy looking at their impressively useless fortifications to realize that the man who had already violated the neutrality of multiple nations might not really mind having to go through a small, defenseless nation in a strategy that almost worked the last time this situation happened, and in fact would have worked wonderfully had the German general in charge hadn't decided to split up his troops.
To add insult to injury, France had an even better reason to be prepared for this: Belgium had the plans for the invasion, quite literally, in their hands. And the French had heard about it. A plane crashed, carrying the invasion plans, in Belgium. At this point, Hitler had a novel talking about his plans for world dominance and giving his enemies a nice little warning, and they had the invasion plans. So they sent one army group to hold off the roughly 800,000 German soldiers that were meant to be advancing. Germany didn't even revise their plans after this incident; they had evidently figured out that the rest of the world was, in fact, incredibly thick.
So the French army stands around this whole winter, evidently doing pretty much nothing. Italy comes in at the end with a declaration of war that was the international equivalent of kicking somebody while they're down (a fairly weak kick, considering that Italy's claim to fame was finally having achieved punctuality). And then, Hitler brought the hammer down. Several million German troops stormed into France through (and nobody saw this next part coming) Belgium, taking everyone but the one French general who had warned of exactly this completely by surprise. That general's name was Dyle, and you can bet your ass that he got one of the best "I told you so" moments in history.
The only story that doesn't embarrass the allies coming out of this is that the English managed to get their troops out at Dunkirk in a "heroic and daring escape". Turns out, it was just the Germans being cautious and not advancing because they were already pretty surprised that this plan had kicked as much ass as it did.
Hitler wasn't that brilliant: The French were just that slow.
A lot of people also know that this happened before, back in WW I. The ironic part was that they actually did much better the first time, when it was a legitimate surprise. I know I had an entire post about France needing to get it together, but seriously now. Was it really that surprising that they would get invaded through Belgium again? They did it the first time, and that was before they had what everyone knew to be a straight up douchebag in control of their armies. It's not like the invasion itself was a surprise; Hitler had invaded Poland the previous year and actually waited out the winter to move all his troops into position to invade France, which is apparently far too busy looking at their impressively useless fortifications to realize that the man who had already violated the neutrality of multiple nations might not really mind having to go through a small, defenseless nation in a strategy that almost worked the last time this situation happened, and in fact would have worked wonderfully had the German general in charge hadn't decided to split up his troops.
To add insult to injury, France had an even better reason to be prepared for this: Belgium had the plans for the invasion, quite literally, in their hands. And the French had heard about it. A plane crashed, carrying the invasion plans, in Belgium. At this point, Hitler had a novel talking about his plans for world dominance and giving his enemies a nice little warning, and they had the invasion plans. So they sent one army group to hold off the roughly 800,000 German soldiers that were meant to be advancing. Germany didn't even revise their plans after this incident; they had evidently figured out that the rest of the world was, in fact, incredibly thick.
 |
| The development of the invasion plan over time. Note the lack of arrows in the bottom part of France, where the entirety of their defenses were organized. Also note: Holland was two revisions away from getting its shit wrecked. |
So the French army stands around this whole winter, evidently doing pretty much nothing. Italy comes in at the end with a declaration of war that was the international equivalent of kicking somebody while they're down (a fairly weak kick, considering that Italy's claim to fame was finally having achieved punctuality). And then, Hitler brought the hammer down. Several million German troops stormed into France through (and nobody saw this next part coming) Belgium, taking everyone but the one French general who had warned of exactly this completely by surprise. That general's name was Dyle, and you can bet your ass that he got one of the best "I told you so" moments in history.
The only story that doesn't embarrass the allies coming out of this is that the English managed to get their troops out at Dunkirk in a "heroic and daring escape". Turns out, it was just the Germans being cautious and not advancing because they were already pretty surprised that this plan had kicked as much ass as it did.
Hitler wasn't that brilliant: The French were just that slow.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Over.
So, musical is over. What does this mean?
First of all, it means that I'm feeling that post-large-event moroseness that always plagues me after things like this. There is a big musical-sized hole in my head right now that I don't really know what to fill with. Thankfully, my obsession with doing random stuff all the time has already provided a solution to this problem. Because musical being over also means that I now have to do all those little projects that I thought up during musical season but never actually got to doing because of all the craziness.
First off, this blog. It has been rather neglected over the last month or so, and I want to fix that. It's nice to have a writing that can use my own voice and not have the only things I write be about literature analysis and European history. Although I write about European history a lot here anyways. I think the big difference is that I'm allowed to use profanities here, which just makes everything so much more amusing. So there's that.
Also: Webcomic. Probably just posted on here, but it seems like it would be a fun thing to try. Even if it's just a weekly or randomly updated thing that never takes off, it'd be a fun way to present my... interesting sense of humor through a different medium. And then I'd have a bigger use for this here tablet. I think I already mentioned this a while back, but now it's actually a possibility. Should be really exciting, provided I actually do it.
Next, some Euro review to be posted here for the benefit of all my fellow classmates. I want to do a few timelines of eras and important events if I can. It'd help me to do the work to put it together, and it'd be useful in future studies as well. So why not?
Editing my NaNo is probably not happening now. I'm proud of the achievement, but it's not really worth refining all that much. If I were to pick it up again, I'd probably just rewrite it using a more cohesive plot and better characters. The frame itself needs a complete overhaul, not just the little decorative bits. So that's my plan for the next chunk of my life. Wish me luck, dear Readers. I'm gonna need it.
First of all, it means that I'm feeling that post-large-event moroseness that always plagues me after things like this. There is a big musical-sized hole in my head right now that I don't really know what to fill with. Thankfully, my obsession with doing random stuff all the time has already provided a solution to this problem. Because musical being over also means that I now have to do all those little projects that I thought up during musical season but never actually got to doing because of all the craziness.
First off, this blog. It has been rather neglected over the last month or so, and I want to fix that. It's nice to have a writing that can use my own voice and not have the only things I write be about literature analysis and European history. Although I write about European history a lot here anyways. I think the big difference is that I'm allowed to use profanities here, which just makes everything so much more amusing. So there's that.
Also: Webcomic. Probably just posted on here, but it seems like it would be a fun thing to try. Even if it's just a weekly or randomly updated thing that never takes off, it'd be a fun way to present my... interesting sense of humor through a different medium. And then I'd have a bigger use for this here tablet. I think I already mentioned this a while back, but now it's actually a possibility. Should be really exciting, provided I actually do it.
Next, some Euro review to be posted here for the benefit of all my fellow classmates. I want to do a few timelines of eras and important events if I can. It'd help me to do the work to put it together, and it'd be useful in future studies as well. So why not?
Editing my NaNo is probably not happening now. I'm proud of the achievement, but it's not really worth refining all that much. If I were to pick it up again, I'd probably just rewrite it using a more cohesive plot and better characters. The frame itself needs a complete overhaul, not just the little decorative bits. So that's my plan for the next chunk of my life. Wish me luck, dear Readers. I'm gonna need it.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Euro Thursday: A short history of Imperialism (Part I)
For any of you wondering why AP European History is so similar to world history in many aspects, I have your answer: AP Euro is a class on Europe and everyone they've screwed over. Which happens to be almost the entirety of the known world. And so, it ends up being very similar to world history. But don't forget, this is Europe we're talking about here. They can't just fuck up the rest of the world to help themselves. Oh no, they're going to trip themselves up too.
The first wave of imperialism started roundabouts 1492, in which Columbus sailed the ocean blue and gave a lot of people small pox in exchange for some syphilis. Columbus was kind of a massive dick to everyone, along with rather stubborn and generally not worthy of having all sorts of stuff named after him. But that's a tale for another time. Anyways, Spain and Portugal start land grabbing the shenanigans out of the Americas and surrounding regions, subjugating and conquering all the native populaces. England and France follow, seeing that it looks like a pretty good time over in this hip, fresh "New World" place. For awhile, Europe has it pretty good (except for the syphilis, which is a bit of a downer). But then they decide that it's a little too boring, this triangular trade thing.
There are some wars, such as the French and Indian war (which, as all your history teachers have probably told you, actually involved the French and the British. Seriously, why not just name these wars after who fought them and when?) in which the natives decide that one side is wrecking their homeland a little less than the other side and fight so that the French/British* can get more of the land that technically belonged to the natives for thousands of years. A little weird, but I'm sure the French/British were very persuasive. Anyways, this war was just a part of the larger 7 Years War, named for the amount of time it took to fight.** This was also really the first World War, although they had yet to hire the marketing people to name these wars dramatically or appealingly yet. They were still in the store brand period of war, in which they sounded pretty dull and stuffy.
So, lots of people die in the 7 Years War. In the French and Indian War, started over a land claim in Ohio (which is, if you ask me, a frickin' dumb place to start a war over. They didn't even have Cedar Point back then), a lot of people die as well. Some natives do as well, something that both sides can be happy about while they contemplate their next plan to make themselves look like squabbling children. Britain gained all of France's possessions in the New World, leaving them with what would eventually become French Canada and a whole lot of culture clash that would mysteriously lead to one of the most polite and well tempered nations in the world. They also succeeded in doubling their debt, something which led to higher taxes on things like tea. I wonder where this is headed?
By the way, Spain and Portugal are still chillin' in South America and the Caribbean. But Haiti's about to open up a can of whoopass.
*Yes, the Indians fought on both sides. The American name for this war is really rather silly.
**Much like the Hundred Years War but a lot less impressive sounding, and a little under a third of the length of the 30 Years War. Europe was in a bit of a creative slump at this time.
The first wave of imperialism started roundabouts 1492, in which Columbus sailed the ocean blue and gave a lot of people small pox in exchange for some syphilis. Columbus was kind of a massive dick to everyone, along with rather stubborn and generally not worthy of having all sorts of stuff named after him. But that's a tale for another time. Anyways, Spain and Portugal start land grabbing the shenanigans out of the Americas and surrounding regions, subjugating and conquering all the native populaces. England and France follow, seeing that it looks like a pretty good time over in this hip, fresh "New World" place. For awhile, Europe has it pretty good (except for the syphilis, which is a bit of a downer). But then they decide that it's a little too boring, this triangular trade thing.
There are some wars, such as the French and Indian war (which, as all your history teachers have probably told you, actually involved the French and the British. Seriously, why not just name these wars after who fought them and when?) in which the natives decide that one side is wrecking their homeland a little less than the other side and fight so that the French/British* can get more of the land that technically belonged to the natives for thousands of years. A little weird, but I'm sure the French/British were very persuasive. Anyways, this war was just a part of the larger 7 Years War, named for the amount of time it took to fight.** This was also really the first World War, although they had yet to hire the marketing people to name these wars dramatically or appealingly yet. They were still in the store brand period of war, in which they sounded pretty dull and stuffy.
So, lots of people die in the 7 Years War. In the French and Indian War, started over a land claim in Ohio (which is, if you ask me, a frickin' dumb place to start a war over. They didn't even have Cedar Point back then), a lot of people die as well. Some natives do as well, something that both sides can be happy about while they contemplate their next plan to make themselves look like squabbling children. Britain gained all of France's possessions in the New World, leaving them with what would eventually become French Canada and a whole lot of culture clash that would mysteriously lead to one of the most polite and well tempered nations in the world. They also succeeded in doubling their debt, something which led to higher taxes on things like tea. I wonder where this is headed?
By the way, Spain and Portugal are still chillin' in South America and the Caribbean. But Haiti's about to open up a can of whoopass.
*Yes, the Indians fought on both sides. The American name for this war is really rather silly.
**Much like the Hundred Years War but a lot less impressive sounding, and a little under a third of the length of the 30 Years War. Europe was in a bit of a creative slump at this time.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
A Break?
So, apparently we have this week off of school. And yet, I've spent even less time at home than usual and probably an equal amount of time in the school building anyways. Funny how life works like that, I suppose. But now, I find the time to write some bloggage which has been sadly lacking the last two weeks or so. What to write about, I wonder?
Well, I put out a fire with my bare hands.* A small fire, but I think it fulfilled my bad ass quota for the month. I spent a good deal of time working on publicity for the musical (which you should totally come see if you aren't one of my Denmarkian, Japanese, or Norwegian readers that apparently have visited the site) which involved a lot of page designing and calling people. I can't say I'm much of a pro at either of these activities, so there was a bit of a learning curve involved. But in the end, things worked out and I finished that thing. So now there's just the set to work on, which will happen at some point during the week.
There's been a lot of these sort of things going on, along with some League of Legends-ing and what not. Samantha is off in France doing whatever it is one does in France, which is sad but totally awesome. I'm sure she'll bring back a multitude of tales to tell and there will be good times for all. My goal for the rest of the break, however, is to actually get some relaxing in for once. And finish that AP Euro calender thing.
Speaking of AP Euro, we're writing satires after the AP test is over. Is Derek excited? Yes. Yes he is.
*Or bear hands. I'm actually part bear, as you can tell from my muscular physique.
Well, I put out a fire with my bare hands.* A small fire, but I think it fulfilled my bad ass quota for the month. I spent a good deal of time working on publicity for the musical (which you should totally come see if you aren't one of my Denmarkian, Japanese, or Norwegian readers that apparently have visited the site) which involved a lot of page designing and calling people. I can't say I'm much of a pro at either of these activities, so there was a bit of a learning curve involved. But in the end, things worked out and I finished that thing. So now there's just the set to work on, which will happen at some point during the week.
There's been a lot of these sort of things going on, along with some League of Legends-ing and what not. Samantha is off in France doing whatever it is one does in France, which is sad but totally awesome. I'm sure she'll bring back a multitude of tales to tell and there will be good times for all. My goal for the rest of the break, however, is to actually get some relaxing in for once. And finish that AP Euro calender thing.
Speaking of AP Euro, we're writing satires after the AP test is over. Is Derek excited? Yes. Yes he is.
*Or bear hands. I'm actually part bear, as you can tell from my muscular physique.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Euro Thursday: France needs to get it's shit together.
Thursday has been officially designated as European history Thursday. I encourage all of you to get on that and find your favorite quote, event, or even your own observation on the craziness that is Europe and put it as your status. Or write a blog post about it, like me. There's plenty of crazy shit to choose from, trust me. And if you're at a loss, good ol' Fourier here can provide you with plenty of stuff. Wikipedia doesn't do justice to his craziness. Anyways, happy Euro Thursday everyone!
If you think about it, one of the most ridiculous things for anyone to say after looking at France's history between 1750 and 1950 is anything to the effect of "hey, this looks like a stable country to me. I bet it'll last into the modern era." It's no secret that France has had a few issues down the road (everyone knows about the guillotine), but most people don't really get just how bad this country is at keeping its act together. If the Ottoman Empire was the sick old man of Europe, France was the hyperactive child who just wanted to beat the bejesus out of everyone on the playground and didn't realize that he was actually way smaller than everyone else and kept accidentally punching himself in the face. I could make a lot of other bad metaphors to get this point across, but I think it's more effective to show you. Let's go visit France in the mid 18th century, shall we?
Backdrop: Everyone in Europe just experienced a wave of revolutions, creatively titled the 1848 revolutions, as a result of France "sneezing", AKA deciding that they really didn't like the government they had just installed and starting a revolution. 'Cause that's what French people do when they're bored, I suppose. Afterwords, everyone decides to party it up with a second Industrial Revolution, this time led by Germany who has decided that the key to being a successful nation is to build a lot of stuff and kill a lot of people. This "Blood and Iron" doctrine will, quite obviously, be problematic for everyone somewhere down the line, but is immediately very bad for France, who has graciously volunteered to be that "lot of people" for Germany to kick around with all its new toys by competing over influence in Spain.**
Once Bismark manages to make France look evil enough to his people, the Franco-Prussian war happens and France gets its ass whooped by Germany. But France can't just lose a war; look at what they did last time when that happened. They exiled their leader, got him back for a bit, fought some people, exiled him AGAIN, then lost pretty much everything they had gained in the last 30 years and started a good ol' revolution just for kicks. But it would be different this time. This time, they want to be a little bit less obnoxious to everyone around them and opt for a nice civil war instead, where they at least have the advantage of being able to say they won either way. During the siege of Paris by the Germans, the Parisians decide that they don't like their government. So after a nice feast of zoo animals and family pets, they declare Paris as an independent commune. And then possibly eat a few of their new countrymen. Meanwhile, the actual French government decides that this isn't good and marches to Paris. Not to lift the siege or fight off the German invaders, but to disarm the National Guard present in Paris. The Parisians don't like that, so they start shooting. Civil war. While they're already in the middle of losing a war with Germany. And also almost getting in yet another war over a small place in Africa called Fashoda, which I suppose is actually prevented by the civil war. So, yay?
The government of France manages to restore order by storming into Paris and killing a lot of people, saving Germany the trouble and making Bismark a little sad. At this point, they finally get a working government together that doesn't manage to piss off everyone. Right before World War I, when they get invaded and have to start all over again. Post-World War II France is now the 5th Republic, and they were on the 2nd before all this.
Seriously, France. How do you exist? Something to be said for tenacity, I suppose.
I'm Derek, and that was Euro Thursday.
*Despite mostly being in the middle east? Europe just encompasses whatever the hell it wants, I guess, regardless of geography. European history encompasses everything on the continent as well as whoever they screw over. Which is everyone. Now I know why it seems so similar to world history at times.
**Which is a dumb thing to compete over. Spain at this point has basically been taking a siesta since it stopped being awesome way the hell back in the 1600's and didn't really have much going on.
If you think about it, one of the most ridiculous things for anyone to say after looking at France's history between 1750 and 1950 is anything to the effect of "hey, this looks like a stable country to me. I bet it'll last into the modern era." It's no secret that France has had a few issues down the road (everyone knows about the guillotine), but most people don't really get just how bad this country is at keeping its act together. If the Ottoman Empire was the sick old man of Europe, France was the hyperactive child who just wanted to beat the bejesus out of everyone on the playground and didn't realize that he was actually way smaller than everyone else and kept accidentally punching himself in the face. I could make a lot of other bad metaphors to get this point across, but I think it's more effective to show you. Let's go visit France in the mid 18th century, shall we?
Backdrop: Everyone in Europe just experienced a wave of revolutions, creatively titled the 1848 revolutions, as a result of France "sneezing", AKA deciding that they really didn't like the government they had just installed and starting a revolution. 'Cause that's what French people do when they're bored, I suppose. Afterwords, everyone decides to party it up with a second Industrial Revolution, this time led by Germany who has decided that the key to being a successful nation is to build a lot of stuff and kill a lot of people. This "Blood and Iron" doctrine will, quite obviously, be problematic for everyone somewhere down the line, but is immediately very bad for France, who has graciously volunteered to be that "lot of people" for Germany to kick around with all its new toys by competing over influence in Spain.**
Once Bismark manages to make France look evil enough to his people, the Franco-Prussian war happens and France gets its ass whooped by Germany. But France can't just lose a war; look at what they did last time when that happened. They exiled their leader, got him back for a bit, fought some people, exiled him AGAIN, then lost pretty much everything they had gained in the last 30 years and started a good ol' revolution just for kicks. But it would be different this time. This time, they want to be a little bit less obnoxious to everyone around them and opt for a nice civil war instead, where they at least have the advantage of being able to say they won either way. During the siege of Paris by the Germans, the Parisians decide that they don't like their government. So after a nice feast of zoo animals and family pets, they declare Paris as an independent commune. And then possibly eat a few of their new countrymen. Meanwhile, the actual French government decides that this isn't good and marches to Paris. Not to lift the siege or fight off the German invaders, but to disarm the National Guard present in Paris. The Parisians don't like that, so they start shooting. Civil war. While they're already in the middle of losing a war with Germany. And also almost getting in yet another war over a small place in Africa called Fashoda, which I suppose is actually prevented by the civil war. So, yay?
The government of France manages to restore order by storming into Paris and killing a lot of people, saving Germany the trouble and making Bismark a little sad. At this point, they finally get a working government together that doesn't manage to piss off everyone. Right before World War I, when they get invaded and have to start all over again. Post-World War II France is now the 5th Republic, and they were on the 2nd before all this.
Seriously, France. How do you exist? Something to be said for tenacity, I suppose.
I'm Derek, and that was Euro Thursday.
*Despite mostly being in the middle east? Europe just encompasses whatever the hell it wants, I guess, regardless of geography. European history encompasses everything on the continent as well as whoever they screw over. Which is everyone. Now I know why it seems so similar to world history at times.
**Which is a dumb thing to compete over. Spain at this point has basically been taking a siesta since it stopped being awesome way the hell back in the 1600's and didn't really have much going on.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
I am not Spartacus.
I was recently engaged in what I suppose you could call a debate over the issue of women's equality and the role that men play in making it impossible for true equality to be obtained. Statistics were thrown, and I accepted them. Yes, men do terrible things to women. Yes, even those that don't physically or verbally abuse them on a conscious level may do little things every day that help perpetuate the problem. And I admit, I do things sometimes that might be considered sexist or discriminating. But this wasn't the issue I had with this.
The issue was that it was said that EVERY man, regardless of whether he tried to be a fair and equal person. was responsible for this problem. I know that I'm not perfect, but I try to at least make an effort to make my exchanges with women occur in pretty much the same way as I conduct them with men, with the exception of a few personal pronouns. I know I'm not always successful, but if anyone who has an issue with what I do and tells me I will make the best effort I can make to conduct myself in a different manner. When the point was made that this doesn't matter, and that I am equally guilty of these atrocities and inequalities regardless of my efforts, simply because I am a man, I felt personally attacked. And sort of powerless.
I acknowledge that everyone needs to take responsibility for their own actions. It's what the entire idea of modern society is based on. But know this.
I am not Spartacus. I will not take responsibility for another man's actions simply because he has the same form of genitalia. I'm not going to step forward and say that I am equally guilty for the world's problems as the man who beats and rapes women, or the man that objectifies them to satisfy his sexual desires, or the man that decides a woman shouldn't earn as much money because of her gender. Those men are responsible for their own actions. Saying that I am equally responsible because I was born into a society where men do these things is as bad as claiming that women are inferior because they are women.
I know that, as a man, I have a responsibility to watch my actions to limit the effect of the overall current of society on my interactions with women. THAT responsibility, I will gladly take. But I refuse to be personally attacked over the actions of other people, and then get blamed for being part of the issue because I deny the claims that I am essentially the same as the men who commit terrible acts against women.
No, I will not dedicate my life to eliminating the problems that women face. I would love to say that I am that kind of person. But I'm not. I can say, however, that in my personal and professional life I will do whatever I can to set a good example to others.
I'm more than willing to be part of the solutions. Just tell me my part of the problem.
I know I've said bad things to people, either seriously or as a joke, that may have offended. And for those, I'm sorry. But I can't say I'm sorry for getting angry when grouped in with rapists. When that's said about you, it's not something that just goes away quickly. That shit stays with you. Maybe you didn't know that when you said it, but it does.
The issue was that it was said that EVERY man, regardless of whether he tried to be a fair and equal person. was responsible for this problem. I know that I'm not perfect, but I try to at least make an effort to make my exchanges with women occur in pretty much the same way as I conduct them with men, with the exception of a few personal pronouns. I know I'm not always successful, but if anyone who has an issue with what I do and tells me I will make the best effort I can make to conduct myself in a different manner. When the point was made that this doesn't matter, and that I am equally guilty of these atrocities and inequalities regardless of my efforts, simply because I am a man, I felt personally attacked. And sort of powerless.
I acknowledge that everyone needs to take responsibility for their own actions. It's what the entire idea of modern society is based on. But know this.
I am not Spartacus. I will not take responsibility for another man's actions simply because he has the same form of genitalia. I'm not going to step forward and say that I am equally guilty for the world's problems as the man who beats and rapes women, or the man that objectifies them to satisfy his sexual desires, or the man that decides a woman shouldn't earn as much money because of her gender. Those men are responsible for their own actions. Saying that I am equally responsible because I was born into a society where men do these things is as bad as claiming that women are inferior because they are women.
I know that, as a man, I have a responsibility to watch my actions to limit the effect of the overall current of society on my interactions with women. THAT responsibility, I will gladly take. But I refuse to be personally attacked over the actions of other people, and then get blamed for being part of the issue because I deny the claims that I am essentially the same as the men who commit terrible acts against women.
No, I will not dedicate my life to eliminating the problems that women face. I would love to say that I am that kind of person. But I'm not. I can say, however, that in my personal and professional life I will do whatever I can to set a good example to others.
I'm more than willing to be part of the solutions. Just tell me my part of the problem.
I know I've said bad things to people, either seriously or as a joke, that may have offended. And for those, I'm sorry. But I can't say I'm sorry for getting angry when grouped in with rapists. When that's said about you, it's not something that just goes away quickly. That shit stays with you. Maybe you didn't know that when you said it, but it does.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Conclusions are murder.
I've been trying to come up with an ending for my WriMo novel for awhile now (since...November), and I've had trouble deciding. I'm nervous that what I pick won't be good or powerful or funny or whatever it is I'm going for in this ending. The fact that I don't even know what I'm going for compounds the problem even further.
I think the truth is, no matter what I pick it won't really be good enough. Because it means the characters have an end, which is sad. Everyone might live in the end, but it'll mean the deaths of a thousand possibilities. That really happens in every part of the book, since you have to make a decision at some point as to what is going to happen next. But you can keep telling yourself that you'll incorporate any given idea at some point in the future of the novel. The ending means that those ideas aren't happening. No matter how long the novel, some ideas die.
So I've come to this conclusion: Conclusions are murder.
Oh, shit.
I think the truth is, no matter what I pick it won't really be good enough. Because it means the characters have an end, which is sad. Everyone might live in the end, but it'll mean the deaths of a thousand possibilities. That really happens in every part of the book, since you have to make a decision at some point as to what is going to happen next. But you can keep telling yourself that you'll incorporate any given idea at some point in the future of the novel. The ending means that those ideas aren't happening. No matter how long the novel, some ideas die.
So I've come to this conclusion: Conclusions are murder.
Oh, shit.
Monday, March 14, 2011
An Abundance of Projects
Because I can't go for any length of time without dedicating myself to one short lived project or another, I've decided to start on a couple of different things. First off, the fine work of the blog BetterMyths has inspired me to start venturing into the realm of history based humor myself. The idea is still in its fledgling stages*, but I'm thinking of a sort of webcomic thing. Possibly on a separate blog, possibly just on this one. I was provided the title "Blood and Irony"** by Samantha, which I find to be both genius-level in simplicity and relevance, as well as quite amusing. It would involve jokes about history. Because weird shit goes down in our world, people.
*To be precise, it has no basis in reality yet.
**If you don't get that reference, you may want to look into that. It's the basis for two world wars and a century or Germany not playing nice with the other kids.
Idea number two. Finishing Dragon Age 2 put me into a bit of a mood for fantasy. I sat around for a lot of yesterday thinking of various plot points of a possible writing project of some kind, perhaps even next year's NaNo. Or a serialized novel to be written in the post-AP test doldrums of my life and put onto this blog. Nobody knows. I have a name, tentatively. But it's embarrassingly generic, I feel, so I think I'll just find something new. Writing projects are fun and exciting, and perhaps it will keep my writing skills up so that November doesn't kick the collective and figurative asses of my fingers and creative skills.
Idea number three. Script frenzy is coming up. There have been some ideas tossed around between Samantha and I about what we could potentially be doing with this. It's a little terrifying to even think of doing this with musical hell week and AP tests becoming frighteningly close, but April could finally get me off of my ass and actually get me going with something. Which leads me to my next point.
Idea number four. Finally finish/edit my nano novel. I've been putting this off for forever. There's a lot of work to be done on it. Then I can finally get that proof copy and put it on my bookshelf and say: "Look at this. I wrote that. It's small and bad, but I did it. Have you written a novel? Statistically speaking, it's unlikely. WHAT UP?"
That's how I plan to greet people entering my dorm room next year. I'll make lots of friends, I'm sure.
Keep on making yourself do crazy shit just for your own fulfillment, dear Reader.
*To be precise, it has no basis in reality yet.
**If you don't get that reference, you may want to look into that. It's the basis for two world wars and a century or Germany not playing nice with the other kids.
Idea number two. Finishing Dragon Age 2 put me into a bit of a mood for fantasy. I sat around for a lot of yesterday thinking of various plot points of a possible writing project of some kind, perhaps even next year's NaNo. Or a serialized novel to be written in the post-AP test doldrums of my life and put onto this blog. Nobody knows. I have a name, tentatively. But it's embarrassingly generic, I feel, so I think I'll just find something new. Writing projects are fun and exciting, and perhaps it will keep my writing skills up so that November doesn't kick the collective and figurative asses of my fingers and creative skills.
Idea number three. Script frenzy is coming up. There have been some ideas tossed around between Samantha and I about what we could potentially be doing with this. It's a little terrifying to even think of doing this with musical hell week and AP tests becoming frighteningly close, but April could finally get me off of my ass and actually get me going with something. Which leads me to my next point.
Idea number four. Finally finish/edit my nano novel. I've been putting this off for forever. There's a lot of work to be done on it. Then I can finally get that proof copy and put it on my bookshelf and say: "Look at this. I wrote that. It's small and bad, but I did it. Have you written a novel? Statistically speaking, it's unlikely. WHAT UP?"
That's how I plan to greet people entering my dorm room next year. I'll make lots of friends, I'm sure.
 |
| Rough sketch for possible cover of the novel. Isn't it adorable? In a sort of oddly misshapen way. |
Keep on making yourself do crazy shit just for your own fulfillment, dear Reader.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Dragon Age 2. Good times.
Somehow this week got entirely away from me. I did no writing, little homework, didn't see many people. It was very sad. However, I did finish Dragon Age 2, which I must say was entirely worthy of my time. The improvements on the first game were too numerous to list, but I think the one that added most to the immersion was the actual use of a voice for the main character. It was understandably absent in the first game, since there were 6 different race/gender options for the character. Making the elaborate dialog tree that this kind of game required for every one of them would have taken a lot more time and money than they probably wanted to commit to the game. There was only incidental dialog during fights which amounted to "I'm going to kill some stuff". It made it difficult to really relate to the main character and, since he/she is the vessel through which we viewed to game world, almost as difficult to relate to all the other characters. Blocks of text don't have the same feel as actual spoken words.
Limiting the main character to one race and only giving male/female and class options (keeping the same three class system of the first game with rogue/warrior/mage) may have seemed limiting at first, but it really did aid in the whole immersion thing and kept the storyline more cohesive feeling. In the first, the beginning of the game was really the only part affected by the race and origin story selected anyways, apart from the occasional comment. It made the game feel a little blocky.
Overall experience was great, other than the ending which seemed a little rushed. Of course, that's probably because they're planning another sequel. If they are, it'll be interesting to see how everything from the first two games will affect it. Events in Dragon Age 2 seemed to have much larger consequences than in the first game, since it takes place over a decade and even the smallest action will eventually come back if not resolved. For instance, there was a young mage having bad dreams about demons at one part of the story and I didn't help him. Three years down the line, he was a crazed guy killing bunches of people. It gives a much greater weight to things the previous title, where only the immediate consequences were ever faced.
If the Dragon Age franchise is done in a trilogy in the same way as Mass Effect, I eagerly await the final installment. BioWare has made significant strides with its titles over the years, and I can't wait for them to impress me more.
Anyways, now that I'm finished with the game (and not yet in the process of replaying it with a different character) I have time to do other, actually useful things. Like... blog. Alright, not entirely useful.
I was recently trained to be an usher at the theater I work at. It's amazingly exciting. I sweep stuff and deal with hooligans. It's significantly better than working in the box office or concessions. Yesterday I had my first shift as an usher, which would have been great had I not been sleep deprived and exhausted from the 6 hour musical rehearsal I had been at earlier in the day. Needless to say, I feel asleep quite promptly upon getting home at around 1 in the morning last night. One of the best nights of sleeping I've had in a long time.
Other than that? Nothing too exciting going on. I have to work on my poetry presentation for Lit class. Somehow I have to fill up 10 minutes with talking about a poem. I hate poetry. Blech. I might present tomorrow, but I hope I don't. That would suck.
Do not go gently into that good night, dear reader.
Limiting the main character to one race and only giving male/female and class options (keeping the same three class system of the first game with rogue/warrior/mage) may have seemed limiting at first, but it really did aid in the whole immersion thing and kept the storyline more cohesive feeling. In the first, the beginning of the game was really the only part affected by the race and origin story selected anyways, apart from the occasional comment. It made the game feel a little blocky.
Overall experience was great, other than the ending which seemed a little rushed. Of course, that's probably because they're planning another sequel. If they are, it'll be interesting to see how everything from the first two games will affect it. Events in Dragon Age 2 seemed to have much larger consequences than in the first game, since it takes place over a decade and even the smallest action will eventually come back if not resolved. For instance, there was a young mage having bad dreams about demons at one part of the story and I didn't help him. Three years down the line, he was a crazed guy killing bunches of people. It gives a much greater weight to things the previous title, where only the immediate consequences were ever faced.
If the Dragon Age franchise is done in a trilogy in the same way as Mass Effect, I eagerly await the final installment. BioWare has made significant strides with its titles over the years, and I can't wait for them to impress me more.
 |
| It was glorious |
I was recently trained to be an usher at the theater I work at. It's amazingly exciting. I sweep stuff and deal with hooligans. It's significantly better than working in the box office or concessions. Yesterday I had my first shift as an usher, which would have been great had I not been sleep deprived and exhausted from the 6 hour musical rehearsal I had been at earlier in the day. Needless to say, I feel asleep quite promptly upon getting home at around 1 in the morning last night. One of the best nights of sleeping I've had in a long time.
Other than that? Nothing too exciting going on. I have to work on my poetry presentation for Lit class. Somehow I have to fill up 10 minutes with talking about a poem. I hate poetry. Blech. I might present tomorrow, but I hope I don't. That would suck.
Do not go gently into that good night, dear reader.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
And we're back
I just returned from three days of skiing up at Crystal Mountain in Thompsonville. It was surprisingly light on stress, an unusual occurrence for family vacations (perhaps not for everyone, but for my family there is usually a lot of unnecessary yelling involved) that was a very pleasant change.
I fell quite a bit, since I kept trying to do moguls and they defeated me over and over again. There are several bruises on me now, as well as a few scratches which I am confused about. But over all, I did alright. No serious injuries. I did get sunburned though, as a testament to my outrageous whiteness. Seriously, I got sunburned on a ski trip. Le sigh.
Now I'm home. An I have a rather large amount of homework to do. Blech indeed, dear Reader.
 |
| Our car, quite thoroughly packed with stuff. |
I fell quite a bit, since I kept trying to do moguls and they defeated me over and over again. There are several bruises on me now, as well as a few scratches which I am confused about. But over all, I did alright. No serious injuries. I did get sunburned though, as a testament to my outrageous whiteness. Seriously, I got sunburned on a ski trip. Le sigh.
Now I'm home. An I have a rather large amount of homework to do. Blech indeed, dear Reader.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
A Promise
Today I went out and got myself a notebook in which to do all my creative writing stuff. That will be it's sole purpose. This is to avoid the massive spread of writing projects I have all over the place. The bigger projects, like the radio play and novels and what not, will probably still be in different notebooks. But this one will be for short stories, random ideas, etc.
I plan on writing at least some every day. Some of it might make it on here. It'll be really exciting!
 |
| Notebook and Pens! |
Thursday, February 24, 2011
A Farewell
I have just discovered through Facebook that my grandparents are giving away the toys that have been in their house for not only my entire life, but also the majority of my parents' lives. They're the toys that entertained me and my cousins for hours on end during family reunions and visits. It's weird.
I've never really considered myself to be that nostalgic. I have memories I enjoy, yes. But I've rarely just sat around and reminisced about the good old days. This year seems to have started that. I suppose it makes sense, as it is truly the end of the first part of my life. I've had many little milestones in between. Learning to walk, going to school, birthdays, driving, my first novel. All that good stuff. But it really all has been just the beginning. After graduation, it'll basically be shoved into a little box labeled "childhood" to be brought out for the youngins way on down the road. I'm not sad about leaving it behind, really. But it's a weird feeling, when you realize what's about to happen. All the familiar things will be gone. It's a whole new world.
Let's kick it's ass, shall we Reader?
I've never really considered myself to be that nostalgic. I have memories I enjoy, yes. But I've rarely just sat around and reminisced about the good old days. This year seems to have started that. I suppose it makes sense, as it is truly the end of the first part of my life. I've had many little milestones in between. Learning to walk, going to school, birthdays, driving, my first novel. All that good stuff. But it really all has been just the beginning. After graduation, it'll basically be shoved into a little box labeled "childhood" to be brought out for the youngins way on down the road. I'm not sad about leaving it behind, really. But it's a weird feeling, when you realize what's about to happen. All the familiar things will be gone. It's a whole new world.
Let's kick it's ass, shall we Reader?
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Write for your life
I had exciting plans for tonight, really. I just can't do them anymore. I'll probably just play League of Legends and sit around writing stuff all night. It'll be really exciting. Yep.
Anyways, since I'm currently trapped at my house I'll explore a really exciting topic with you, dear Reader. For once, it won't be the future, which is something I usually write about on here. Instead, I'll do a weird sort of self description and write about writing.
Awhile back I did something called NaNoWriMo and I wrote a novel. It was a very exciting time for me and I felt accomplished and intelligent and dedicated and all sorts of good feelings. It's been the first time in a long time I've really gotten into one single activity with intense dedication to the exclusion of a fair amount of sleep and time with family/friends. It felt good, really good, to have that kind of dedication to something. It made me, for a short time, contemplate a career in writing of some kind. Maybe novels, maybe television, maybe movies. Who knows. But that idea was pretty much abandoned shortly thereafter in favor of more realistic and practical career options. Like teaching and such. After all, when my parents and relatives and other such people ask what I want to do with my life, saying "I'm going to be a writer" make them ask other questions about what I want to write. And they'll want to see the other stuff I've written. And so on and so forth, going down a slippery slope into annoying relatives.
That, and the fact that I don't have the confidence in my own abilities necessary to say that I want to make a living purely off my ability to entertain and dazzle people with my words. I like words, I like messing with them, and I speak and write fairly eloquently. According to others I do, anyways. But to make a living off that is kind of a scary thought. And it seems almost unnatural, really, to do something that you would be doing anyways in order to earn money. Seriously, it seems too good to be true. Like the people who do write for a living must suffer some horrible price in order to do so. Do you have to sell your soul in order to be a writer? I might go for that deal if I could be the next Terry Pratchett or Neil Gaiman. A lack of self confidence is sort of a running theme in my life. It's rather unfortunate.
I re-read some of my novel, titled "Jump!", today. It's actually not awful. Significant improvements to be made are glaringly obvious, but still. I didn't hate the idea, and even some of the writing seemed to flow surprisingly well. But it's still difficult to say that it would be at all a viable option for my livelihood.
I want to make people laugh and think about things. But so do a lot of people. I don't think I can beat them.
Why does it always come down to who can beat who, Reader?*
*I lied. It ended up pretty much being about my future. Damn it.
Anyways, since I'm currently trapped at my house I'll explore a really exciting topic with you, dear Reader. For once, it won't be the future, which is something I usually write about on here. Instead, I'll do a weird sort of self description and write about writing.
Awhile back I did something called NaNoWriMo and I wrote a novel. It was a very exciting time for me and I felt accomplished and intelligent and dedicated and all sorts of good feelings. It's been the first time in a long time I've really gotten into one single activity with intense dedication to the exclusion of a fair amount of sleep and time with family/friends. It felt good, really good, to have that kind of dedication to something. It made me, for a short time, contemplate a career in writing of some kind. Maybe novels, maybe television, maybe movies. Who knows. But that idea was pretty much abandoned shortly thereafter in favor of more realistic and practical career options. Like teaching and such. After all, when my parents and relatives and other such people ask what I want to do with my life, saying "I'm going to be a writer" make them ask other questions about what I want to write. And they'll want to see the other stuff I've written. And so on and so forth, going down a slippery slope into annoying relatives.
That, and the fact that I don't have the confidence in my own abilities necessary to say that I want to make a living purely off my ability to entertain and dazzle people with my words. I like words, I like messing with them, and I speak and write fairly eloquently. According to others I do, anyways. But to make a living off that is kind of a scary thought. And it seems almost unnatural, really, to do something that you would be doing anyways in order to earn money. Seriously, it seems too good to be true. Like the people who do write for a living must suffer some horrible price in order to do so. Do you have to sell your soul in order to be a writer? I might go for that deal if I could be the next Terry Pratchett or Neil Gaiman. A lack of self confidence is sort of a running theme in my life. It's rather unfortunate.
I re-read some of my novel, titled "Jump!", today. It's actually not awful. Significant improvements to be made are glaringly obvious, but still. I didn't hate the idea, and even some of the writing seemed to flow surprisingly well. But it's still difficult to say that it would be at all a viable option for my livelihood.
I want to make people laugh and think about things. But so do a lot of people. I don't think I can beat them.
Why does it always come down to who can beat who, Reader?*
*I lied. It ended up pretty much being about my future. Damn it.
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