I am not Spartacus.

I was recently engaged in what I suppose you could call a debate over the issue of women's equality and the role that men play in making it impossible for true equality to be obtained. Statistics were thrown, and I accepted them. Yes, men do terrible things to women. Yes, even those that don't physically or verbally abuse them on a conscious level may do little things every day that help perpetuate the problem. And I admit, I do things sometimes that might be considered sexist or discriminating. But this wasn't the issue I had with this.

The issue was that it was said that EVERY man, regardless of whether he tried to be a fair and equal person. was responsible for this problem. I know that I'm not perfect, but I try to at least make an effort to make my exchanges with women occur in pretty much the same way as I conduct them with men, with the exception of a few personal pronouns. I know I'm not always successful, but if anyone who has an issue with what I do and tells me I will make the best effort I can make to conduct myself in a different manner. When the point was made that this doesn't matter, and that I am equally guilty of these atrocities and inequalities regardless of my efforts, simply because I am a man, I felt personally attacked. And sort of powerless.

I acknowledge that everyone needs to take responsibility for their own actions. It's what the entire idea of modern society is based on. But know this.

I am not Spartacus. I will not take responsibility for another man's actions simply because he has the same form of genitalia. I'm not going to step forward and say that I am equally guilty for the world's problems as the  man who beats and rapes women, or the man that objectifies them to satisfy his sexual desires, or the man that decides a woman shouldn't earn as much money because of her gender. Those men are responsible for their own actions. Saying that I am equally responsible because I was born into a society where men do these things is as bad as claiming that women are inferior because they are women.

I know that, as a man, I have a responsibility to watch my actions to limit the effect of the overall current of society on my interactions with women. THAT responsibility, I will gladly take. But I refuse to be personally attacked over the actions of other people, and then get blamed for being part of the issue because I deny the claims that I am essentially the same as the men who commit terrible acts against women.

No, I will not dedicate my life to eliminating the problems that women face. I would love to say that I am that kind of person. But I'm not. I can say, however, that in my personal and professional life I will do whatever I can to set a good example to others.

I'm more than willing to be part of the solutions. Just tell me my part of the problem.
I know I've said bad things to people, either seriously or as a joke, that may have offended. And for those, I'm sorry. But I can't say I'm sorry for getting angry when grouped in with rapists. When that's said about you, it's not something that just goes away quickly. That shit stays with you. Maybe you didn't know that when you said it, but it does.