8665 hours

The title of this blog post is the number of hours left in this year. It's always weird when you change units around like that. It messes with perception. 361 days seems like a long time. But for some reason, 8665 hours seems like my time is draining away rapidly. Fleeting. It incites a certain panic and craze to do something with my life. But what? That question is always the stopper in these moments. I feel like I should do something. Learn to play the guitar, draw stuff, write stuff, have intensely meaningful relationships with all kinds of people, the way they do in the movies. I look at all the stuff I can do and I freeze. None of it looks viable once all other possibilities are looked in to. It's a problem. So instead, I write about how I can't do anything. Weird. t least it's doing something. Not watching episodes of Dr Who, which is at least a step forward, productivity wise. Also, I'm on the last episode with Rose as a companion. I don't want to see her leave. Probably can't handle that right now, the way other things are going. I'd end up crying, and then I would feel silly. Crying for a TV character. Sometimes I can't even cry for real people, but I can cry for the Doctor and Rose. It's probably a disease of some kind, one they'll figure out one of these days.
I can never stay on topic. The point is, the crisis these days isn't a lack of time, not really. There's plenty of it to do everything I need to do and have a little left over for something else. The crisis is a lack of will to do the things I can do in these 8665 hours. A lot will happen during them. I'll graduate, go to college. Meet new people. Write another novel, maybe. Be a part of two productions at school. Talk to my friends. It's ridiculous, the amount of stuff that will happen. But it'll never be enough. I'll always regret not doing more. It's sad, really. I'll spend so much time focused on the things that didn't get done that the things I do get done will lose significance. I'll try to avoid it, but it'll happen. But that's what happens. I have another 8665 hours... well, closer to 8664 now, to get done all the things I want to get done. I plan on doing at least one ridiculously clichéd highschool student thing before I get out of here. It'll be cheesy. It'll be great.
And hopefully, it'll accomplish what I want it to accomplish.
Goodnight, readers. Until next time.